Darkest Before the Dawn | Guy Strange: A Dark Comedy Film Noir surreal mystery.

0:00 Episode 8 Darkest right before the dawn Le plus sombre, juste avant l'aube The bamboo-caged door is ajar Should I stay? Should I fly afar? What if my wings are broken and I plummet to the ground? Is it better to at least try? or sensible to stay. I could be floating on warm thermals before I crash down and die. Oh lord, I need the strength and hope to at least try. Tits up, arse down, that was it. Matt and I had debriefed the embarrassing failure of a mission. That's all I could say. Tits up, arse downs, feet in the fire.

0:52 A total can of fizzy piss. Matt said, I was the supposed brains of the outfit. I had to take the full dairy. The full fall. I said, take it easy, tiger. Put those claws away. I disagreed. The plan was sound. It was an operational issue. If I was operational in the bar, I would have handled things better. Professional. Assured. Matt disagreed. He said, I don't have experience with boots on the ground and that he did. A bus pass. You showed her a bus pass. All right, said Matt. Maybe I wasn't fully prepared, but you didn't mention any ID.

1:30 You said no one would question the Balding Despair Anonymous charity. You said everyone would buy it. Maybe nobody cares about the big bad, Billy Baldy, as much as you guy, you freak. Matt was wrong. If I was the eyes in the bar, I would have read the situation. Reacted. We discussed it for hours during the sleepless nights. Matt would have been better wearing a spinning bootie and clown shoes. He really would. Private investigator my ass. I couldn't understand why it failed. It didn't make sense.

2:05 Like having to pee into the Free Dairy Museum on my travels. That perplexed me also. It perplexed me more than it should have to be honest. It really did. Reflective private investigators. That's what we had to be now. To rescue Operation Bardame. from complete disaster. Now I had to face off with this crazy dame. I had to tidy up Matt's mistakes, but it wasn't as easy as that, was it? I still didn't know anything about her. Nothing next to jack shit, but she had my ass in a glass and she wasn't going to let go.

2:43 She really wasn't. I had to think of some real true blue smoke to blow up her ass, to get it back, but it wasn't going to be easy, that's for sure. Easier to put a camel in a mincer and drip it slowly through the eye of a needle. She had my buns on ice, and I didn't like my buns on ice. I never have and never will. So Fint and Fennessey, what do you want? Matt and I talked about it. What if we acted dumb, as she suspected us to be? That might be an angle to use. It really could. Matt was unsure, but what choice did we have?

3:17 None. I would go along, act inept, and hopefully my curiosity would be satisfied. And that should be it. I would act inept, poorly, and discombobulated. That wouldn't be too hard, would it? I'd have that dame eating out of my hands in no time. She will probably offer to buy a fictional raffle ticket, just to appease the old guy strange, master confidence artist. Oh yes. Bring it on, Finto. Bring it on. Did I believe that she would believe me, and would be eating out of my hands? Don't tell Matt, but no.

3:52 No. I had messed up. I was useless, and she would recognize that. She really would. You can't varnish a turd to make it a diamond. I don't know if I am afraid of living with continuing decline anymore, or if I am afraid of life. Nothing hurts anymore. Am I free? Aye, right you are. Maybe emotionally, but not physically. Pain every day. Wait and I will wave my lighter in the air to celebrate, you numbskull. I was existing outside of existence. So, do I want the door of the cage opened? But what is escape?

4:27 Does the old rocking chair get me or do I work with what I have and find purpose? Is it just slowing the inevitable? Can I fly or will I just drop like a stone? pretending to be a swan when I am a duck. I waddle like a duck anyways. I really do. You can't hide that. Can you? What did Fintan know? She knew our charity was a fraud. She guessed Matt wasn the fastest turtle in Kansas and she might be right on this occasion She suspected that the person that hired Matt was probably going to attend the bar for a face Was Fintan in for a shock?

5:10 She sure was. What had Matt and I gleaned from the operation? Finto was clever, or so it appeared. She was calm under pressure. She appeared to have balls. But not like that Susie Izzard. At least I hope not. I am pretty sure I didn't see an Adam's apple on that Bardame She said she was a journalist She might be She might just be a crazy Bampot But I didn't think so That was my hunch anyway I was sitting with a notebook With scrawled writing on it Guy came over He appeared awkward but curious No eye contact What's that he asked I study genetics A mix of a lion and tiger is called a liger What would you call it if you crossed a ferret and a duck?

5:56 Anything? Genius. Are you a genius? All that time he didn't realise that I was in a wheelchair. When he eventually noticed he stopped, he asked me if I got fed up being pushed around at university. Painful. A tumbleweed should have blown across the bar. He tried to hide a smile on his face while looking between the floor and the ceiling. He asked if I would like a drink. I said I would have a cup of Earl Grey. He said that Earl Grey wasn't the maker's real name, but that he was really boring. I asked if he was his brother.

6:33 He looked confused. Of course not, he said. He died hundreds of years ago, really. I think the fruit shop might be missing a plum, that's for sure. At the arranged time on the dot, I entered the bar. I saw Finton beside the window with a table to herself. I casually wandered over. She was writing something on a notepad. I asked her what it was. She said she was studying genetics. She even asked me a genetic question. I blew some funny chat up her ass as I bought her a drink. The old Strange Joe charm was working a treat.

7:07 I could see that she was impressed. I really could. Matt could learn a trick or two off the old guy when he's on operational duty. Now I had forgotten that Fintan had already met me, but when I was Matt. So I had to think on my feet. I told her that my employer could not make it at short notice, and she would have to direct any questions through myself, Matt Black. Fintan said that wasn't my name. The name on the bus pass was Guy Strange. This dame was good. I told this loose-jawed loser that Matt Black wasn't his name.

7:42 That the name on the bus pass was Guy Strange. That stopped him in his tracks. I said Guy Strange didn't exist. I searched him up. So who exactly are you, Mr. Strange? And what precisely do you want with little old me? Are you some sort of sleazy, low-life, internet stalker? An internet stalker? Really? An internet stalker? I don't use the internet. Not since I took the silver coin. Wait, you don't need to know that. All you need to know is I am not an internet stalker. I am not a dafty miss. I will be honest.

8:19 I saw you through the window with a book and two drinks. I really did. I couldn't understand the situation. It played with my mind for a while. Maybe my mind has too much time on its hands, but... Why was a young dame in a bar reading a book? What was the book that was worth taking to a bar? Was that all you would drink? That was all. It was strange. I thought I would find out why. I ain't ever stalked any young filly or young Colleen. But it looks like curiosity killed the cat. This cat was no more.

8:51 It was deceased, as they say. As dead as an Arab with a rucksack at a West Bank bar mitzvah. As deceased as member of the International Battalion in Ukraine with a drone magnet. I am not a stalker, miss. I refute that claim. I used to be somebody I really did. I am not a stalker. Old guy went off like a cap. He really did. He even made eye contact for the first time. He sure did. The guy boy was a bit strange, as his phony name, but I am starting to like him. Just a little though, and I believed him.

9:25 He is weird enough for that to be true. He really was. He had autism dripping out of him like gravy, and I liked that. Don't ask me why. So I told the guy boy, why not? I had nothing to lose. The book was The Man Who Watched the Trains Go By. Some Dutch boy wrote it, I think. I enjoy the story. I have read it several times, to be honest. My go-to book. I come to this bar and sit by the window as I'm watching someone. You don need to know who or why but that why I come here guy it hard to get a decent job when you have two wheels for legs Goyo So I ain flush with cash Two drinks is all I can afford.

10:11 Anything else, genius? I thought Fintan might be feeling a bit down because of her leg situation, whatever it was. I told her that I too had a degenerative condition. She asked what it was. I explained that like the New Zealand Prime Minister, I think it was New Zealand, refusing to use some goddamn racist freak killer's name. I refused to give my condition any airtime. She thought about that for a while, before saying, Okay, I won't tell you the official name of my disability. You don't need to know that.

10:44 I told her that all she had to know was that it was a progressive condition, and it was getting worse. Is that why your voice sounds like that? she asked. I said no. This was my normal voice. She looked a little embarrassed. It's very monotone, she said. Thanks, Taylor Swift, I said. I didn't know what she was talking about. And wait till I tell you this. We went on to have an in-depth conversation about our health. A real conversation. We really did. I don't do conversation, but we just chatted naturally.

11:19 It came easy with the Finto, and we could bounce our shitty problems off of each other. Not in an one-up man-ship way, but in an honest way. It was like drawing a picture for the old Professor Rose. It really was. We were shooting the breeze, but no bullshit. I think in some way, we may have helped each other. I can't explain why. I really can't. A heavy weight had come off my shoulders, for a little while anyway. Guy and I ended up chatting. Can you believe that? He turned out to be a good listener.

11:52 I was enjoying his conversation. I really was. He could be quite funny. I don't know if he meant it or not. I couldn't tell. It was helping me in a mindfulness kind of way. And then I realised I had let my guard down. I had been hurt by people before. I wasn't going to let that happen again. That's for sure. So I drew back. I had a job for this guy and he was dumb enough to do it. I had to string old Guy Strange along. Old Finto was good crack. She really was. I think she might be able to help me fly the nest, the old pen, before Le Hachette had had enough.

12:31 I liked this dame, but I knew that she would drop me like a stone. They all do, so I had to string the Finto along for a while. I would take her under my wings if I had any. For a while, anyway. We seemed to have synergy. We were greater than the sum of our parts. Shit is shit, and a paper bag is a paper bag. But when you put the two together with a match, you have some jackass Muppets stamping out the blaze on his doorstep, with his slippers stinking of shit. Synergy. That was Fintan and I. She was the shit.

13:06 And I, the paper bag. Years ago, I worked with a cleaner with the council. She cleaned the soccer-changing rooms. She had taken a large bottle of bleach out of a cupboard and poured it down a john. She realized it smelled odd, and when she checked it was turpentine. She had poured the full bottle down. This didn't put off our Sadie. No way. She went back and got another bottle. This time, checking it was bleach, taking the lid off to smell it. It was bleach, all right. The Sadie Meister poured the bleach down the same john.

13:41 What a fright Sadie got. Bang. A loud blast and Sadie in shock. She never did that again. But that's also synergy. Turpentine and bleach combined is greater than the sum of their parts to Sadie's horror. It really was. Now I sure as hell am not writing a training manual for Al-Qaeda. But that sure as hell happened. Synergy. If Matt was to be involved, he might be the match. Or maybe the John. He really would. Matt had to prove himself again. He really did. A liability at the moment. that's for sure.

14:14 I had learned that he talks a good game, but struggles to walk the walk. But then again I struggle with the walking also. That's not a good combination, and that could leave old Fintan and myself treading water. It really could. He had to up his game, or he would be replaced. It's a cutthroat industry, working for the Fintan dame, even though I don't yet know what she needs me to do. I really don't. I told her I was a nobody. I was living outside of normal society. I was a loner, a loser. Finton smiled.

14:46 He told me he was a nobody. He was living outside of normal society. He was a loner, a loser. He thought I would be disappointed. I smiled. You are exactly what I need I have a job for you I have been praying for assistance I think that it may be you I think old mad is a box of frogs guy bought it I really do The old Fintmeester scores a field goal again What a dumbass this schmuck is I think old fruity loopy Finten bought it. I really do. She said she had a job for me. She really did. What a dumbass dame she was proving to be.

15:24 Mark one up for old guy Strangio. Oh, what a gift. The gift he guides you. To see yourself as others sees you.

15:42 Hey, Finto. Stick some tunes on the jukebox. Don't ever, ever call me Finto again. Ever. Do you understand? Genius. If you do, I will rip your balls off and use them as earrings. Genius. Not sure about that, Finto. Think about it. Hard to match. They would only go with a fur coat, maybe.

16:28 We are now at the University of Minnesota Should I stay or fly far? What if my wings are broken And I plummet to the ground?

17:19 You

17:28 Is it better to at least try Or sensible to stay I could be floating on warm thermals Before I crash and die I need the strength and hope to at least try

18:25 Thank you. I'm not a man. Disco and Bob, episode eight, darkest right before the dawn.

19:33 Until next time, may your memories be kind, your candles burn brightly, and your discombobulation remain manageable. Remember to like and subscribe, and forward the Motel Disco and Bob tale to other like-minded people, if there are any.

19:55 Thank you.